Catching up

Hi there loyal readers! Or should I say loyal lurkers, as I haven’t been giving you much to read lately. Sorry for the long delay in writing, but, as most of you know, it’s been a busy few months.

First of all- in case anyone who reads this wasn’t aware (which would surprise me…) I’m knocked up. Yep, I’m totally pregnant, due on tax day (April 15). So that was a surprise. Here I’d been thinking it would take me months to get pregnant, for my body to “readjust” to being off birth control, as so many people told me it would. But apparently that wasn’t the case for me. I hadn’t even been off for a month- obviously I’m fertile. Or maybe my body had just gotten tired of me making excuses as to why now wasn’t the “perfect” time to have a baby. Ironically, I had gotten cold feet and actually convinced Jay that we should maybe wait a while before really trying to get pregnant about a week before I took the test that told me that I already was. Oops- a little late with that call. Guess that was my first lesson in the fact that I am no longer in control- there’s a little sac of cells in my uterus that’s calling the shots now, and will be for a long time. Great- not even born yet and my baby’s already as stubborn and impatient as I am! Now let’s just hope that she (Jay and are both convinced that it’s a girl) doesn’t get my boobs too.

So that little revelation led to the other things which have been taking up my time and making me a harried crazy mess lately. Since I can’t take a class during the spring semester, and am still aiming to graduate next December (09), I decided to take THREE classes this fall. And work full time. And be pregnant (ie. tired, and cranky, and mush-brained with the attention span of a dead flea). Some days I want to smack myself in the face and ask me why in God’s name I decided to do such an obviously insane and stupid thing. Then I remember that taking classes is not going to get any easier when I have a newborn around, so maybe the craziness now is worth the extra sleep later. Oy. Sometimes I just want to run away and join the circus. Kids like circuses, right? And maybe we could become a mother daughter act, with lions or elephants or something. Or I could just be the fat lady, which is another thing I’m feeling qualified for lately. Once again I say- Oy.

Now, with that nice little bit of bitching out of the way…raise your hands if you still want me to blog more? Really, some days are better than others (as I’m sure you all know), and today I just happen to be feeling a bit overwhelmed. I keep hoping I’ll win the lottery so that I can quit my job and focus on finishing school and eating bon bons and being a big glowy happy pregnant lady. I never thought I’d say this, but I do feel that I have the potential to be a big glowy happy pregnant lady- if only life didn’t get in the way.

At this point I’m just focusing on December 6, the day that two out of three of my classes are officially over. After Christmas I plan to settle in, eat lots of mac and cheese, and just nest and reflect until the baby comes. Ahhh- that sounds nice…When is December again? Tomorrow?

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